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Change Your Story

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Change Your Story

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You know those times in life when it seems like so many people around you are really struggling with something or multiple life things, including yourself?  This seems to be the theme lately for me. It seems that every time I turn around, I'm hearing a new story about something tough that someone I care about is dealing with, and my life hasn't exactly felt like a piece of cake in many ways recently either. I thought it would be a good time to talk about changing our stories. I've been focusing a lot lately on 'changing my story' which can help any situation that may feel hard to deal with into one that can also feel like a blessing. It can alleviate a lot of the stress that comes with uncomfortable circumstances, and leave us feeling grateful for a situation that we previously felt cursed by.

What do I mean by this?

Let me give you an example....

You arrive at work on Friday, and are called into the office to find out that you are getting laid off. You are shocked. Your initial story may sound something like this:

"I can't believe they laid me off with no warning! I didn't see this coming. How am I supposed to support myself? I barely get by living paycheck to paycheck as it is! My rent is due, and I've been saving a little and was really hoping to finally be able to afford to go on a vacation in a couple of months. There is no way I'm going to make it financially. I haven't updated my resume in years, and have no idea where to begin looking for a job. This sucks! Why is this happening to me? What am I going to do? I feel helpless."

It's pretty normal to react to a situation such as this with alarm, fear, and a story that doesn't feel good. The fact that you are getting laid off is not something that you can change. So, in this situation, what DO you have the control of changing? You can change your story. And it could sound something like this:

"Wow, I can hardly believe that they laid me off! This feels shocking, but if I think about it, I guess I saw some signs that this may be coming. Even though this feels scary, I'm going to choose to look at this as a blessing in disguise. I really haven't been very happy in this job recently. It's caused me a lot of stress, and I've been working hard, and still living paycheck to paycheck which has felt uncomfortable, but I've been too fearful to quit. Perhaps they have done me a big favor by pushing me out to find something better. I have a good friend who I know will help me spruce up my resume, and a community of people that I can reach out to in search of a new job. Since I'm getting laid off, I can collect unemployment for the time being to pay my rent, and I had some money tucked away in preparation for a vacation soon. I guess I get some time off now! Maybe I can use some of that money to cover some expenses and choose to visit some friends and stay with them for a cheaper vacation instead. I'm glad I have that option. I've been considering going back to school, or switching professions to something that is more fulfilling for me and provides me with a better income anyway. I guess this is the push I needed! I may not have done it on my own! I'm so excited to figure out what is next for me!"

Isn't that a HUGE difference?

I could continue with example after example, but you all are smart cookies, and I know you get the picture. We can change the story no matter what the experience is.

What's going on for you right now? Is there a negative story you have been telling around something that feels challenging in your life?

How can you change it? If you can change your story, you can change how your whole experience feels and how the situation effects you.

My challenge to you this week is to change your story. Pick one thing that you know you have been telling a negative story about and change it. Write it out. Tell a loved one. When people ask about it, tell your new & improved positive story rather than the doom and gloom one, and see how it feels.

How do you change it? Simply tap into the positives of it. Every situation has things to be grateful for, sometimes we have to look harder, but they are always there. Talk it out. Write it out. Work on it until it's a story that feels better to tell. I know you've got it in you.

Wishing you wellness,

Shelly

 

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Mental Spring Cleaning

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Mental Spring Cleaning

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 Spring is here, and I’ve got lots of spring cleaning on my mind. Spring cleaning of my home & environment always feel good this time of year. It’s a great time to do some cleansing of the body through dietary cleanses & juicing as well, but how about some mental spring cleaning?
Mental spring cleaning? It could be lots of things, but here I want to talk with you about one idea I have around our resistance to change.
I think that we humans have a tendency to hold onto things a little too tightly sometimes, and I’m not just talking about physical things. We hold onto our ideas, our opinions, our identity around how we dress, ways we show up in the world, our attitude on certain subjects, extra weight, habits that don’t serve us.  We hold onto these things not always consciously, but sometimes just because it’s what we do, what we’ve always done.
 So what is my mental spring cleaning tip for you?

Sweep the idea out of your brain that you are stuck, and give yourself permission to change!

If it helps, write yourself a permission slip and hang it on your fridge, hang it on your mirror, tape it to the dash of your car! Whatever will help you.
You are allowed to change.
You can change your mind.
You can change your opinion.BC191THB8U
You can change who you spend time with.
You can change how you dress.
You can change what you eat.
You can change your attitude.
You can change how you show up in the world.
You can change how you feel.
You can change your energy level.
You can change habits.
You can change your hobbies.
You can change your health.
You can change anything that is changeable!
YR8EV7NYYVWho says that we need to stay where we are?
Keep the same opinions?
Keep the same career?
Hold onto the same relationships?
Continue to eat the same as we always have?
Continue the same hobbies?
You are allowed to start dressing differently if you feel compelled to. Throw away the clothing that you don’t feel great wearing. Wear what makes you feel good, even if it’s a wild outfit that leads your friends to say “wow! I’ve never seen you wear something like that!” Especially if they say that....and it’s something that you feel good in!

You are allowed to change your mind. We can and will change our minds all of the time. This is perfectly ok. Just because you subscribed to a certain belief, doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind! We change as individuals throughout our life, so our opinions are allowed to change too. Don’t allow people in your life to hold you to something you once said or agreed to if you have changed your mind. It's ok. You have permission.

You are allowed to change your job or career to one that makes your heart sing. What’s that? You have college debt for your chosen career? You’ve got so much time invested into your career? Oh, you have great benefits? I get it, but that doesn’t mean that you need to stay in a career that makes getting out of bed in the morning a miserable ordeal. What are you good at that makes you happy doing? Find one of those things, and do it. There’s no reason that you can’t love, or at least enjoy what you do to make money.
You are allowed to let go of relationships that don’t serve you. That friend that you’ve had for 20 years, that you feel so obligated to, even though she never keeps the things you tell her in confidence, has criticisms for your life, loves to gossip, and generally has a negative attitude? Yeah, her….You can let her go. Its okay. You don’t need to tell her exactly why. Just send her love, let her go, wish her well, and put forth time & energy into budding new friendships that are positive and that you feel energized rather than drained by!
You are allowed to change how you eat! Your partner doesn’t like to eat healthy food? Maybe they can start to cook for themselves more often as you chef yourself up some new vegetable goodness! If you feel drawn to eating healthier, you are allowed to put the effort forth in that! Your friends and family can benefit from you exploring healthier options. If they rely on you for cooking, then they can choose to support you and explore healthier eating with you, or they can choose to start cooking for themselves!
You are allowed to explore new fun things in life! Get out there and try a new activity. Ask your friend that enjoys an activity that you are unfamiliar with to take you with them! Explore new things! Just because you’ve been on a bowling league for the last 7 years doesn’t mean that you can’t drop it to make time for the belly dancing class you’ve been eye balling! Explore new interests that excite you!
So, now I ask you.…as you read the above, what popped into you mind about your life? Where are you craving change? Where have you felt resistant to it? Where have you felt like you weren’t allowed to change? I challenge you to do some mental spring cleaning by letting go of the belief that you are stuck in these areas. Just take your imaginary broom and sweep that thought right out of your brain. Did you picture that? Good. Now that you've cleaned that limiting belief out, pick at least one thing that you want to change about you this spring. Just for you. You deserve it!
Wishing you blissful spring fever!
Shelly

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