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self love

Self Care For The Busy Summer Bee!

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Self Care For The Busy Summer Bee!

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Summer is busy! This seems to be a topic of conversation with whoever I talk to lately. With the beautiful weather and so much going on, we can try to pack more into the few months of summer than we do all year. Plans every weekend, trips, extra events to attend during the week, and the draw to be more active outside, on top of our regular schedules. Yes, many of the things that keep us busy in summer are fun, but still can have a tendency to lead to some feelings of burn out, drained, tiredness, and generally feeling like we are constantly buzzing around like a busy bee! Whether it's summer time, or anytime we feel caught up in the whirlwind of life, it's such a good thing to remember how important self care is. We all know the basics. Eating healthy and getting adequate sleep & exercise are important to feel good in order to keep up with life. Being a busy bee can be fun, and all the summer fun can nourish us in great ways, but are you doing things to relax? Rejuvenate? Treat yourself & your body? What things are you doing to 'fill your cup'? What kind of things are you doing that allow some down time to feed the energy you need to keep up with the busyness life?

I've been feeling a bit caught up in the whirlwind of life lately myself, and have been hearing from so many people about how they have been as well. With this in mind, I thought I'd share with you today a list of ways that you can step out of the busy whirlwind of summer, stop your buzzing around for periods of time,  and take some rejuvenating time for self care. Making the time for some of these self care practices can make a huge positive difference in how you feel. When you are doing things to keep your cup full, everything else seems much easier to manage, and your can find yourself enjoying the busy summer life more.

If you've been feeling the buzz, and know you could benefit from taking some time for self care, the 10 tips below are for you! Pick one that you feel drawn to and start there! Making a little time to take good care of yourself can help the busy buzzing around of summer feel so much more enjoyable, and less exhausting!

Wishing you wellness!

Shelly

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10 Self Care Tips For The Busy Summer Bee:

  1. Take some time to care for your body. Maybe it's a long bath or spa night at home. Maybe it's going to a spa for a treatment or relaxing afternoon. It could be a massage or acupuncture session. Choose what feels best for you. Whatever it is, create some quiet time to give your body some love, so it feels rejuvenated!
  2. Cloud watching or start gazing! Summer is a great time to throw  blanket on the ground or find a cozy hammock to nestle into and take some time to just stare at the sky. Taking a few minutes to just sit still and soak up some sun rays can be a wonderful break too.
  3. Work on being more present with your normal routines of the day like brushing your teeth, getting ready for your day, and eating your breakfast. Allowing yourself to be fully present with the normal mundane tasks of your day, rather than rushing through them while thinking about everything else you need to do with the rest of your day allows you to own that time as yours. Starting your day by doing the tasks of your morning routine being fully present helps it to feel more relaxing and could turn it into 'you time' rather than time where your brain is consumed with all the other on-goings of your day & your life.
  4. Take some time to meditate, even if only for a short while. Starting your day with even a short meditation can set the tone for your whole day mentally and emotionally. It can also start your day off with a feeling of having some of your own time before you head into a full & busy day. Taking a couple of minutes to meditate in the middle of your busy day can really help to reset you as well, and leave you feeling recharged. In the middle of your busy day, take a minute to just close your eyes, and check in with yourself on your thoughts & feelings on the day. Take a minute to check in with how your body is feeling and know if there is anything that it needs. Then just take a minute to breathe and focus on your breath. Taking these 3 minutes in the middle of the day can work wonders. Try it and see!
  5. Unplug from electronics and social media for periods of time. Depending on your usage and work, maybe this means checking out  from electronics for a certain time of the day, or creating a healthy morning routine that involves not checking in online for the first hour or two of your day. It could mean taking weekends off of social media, or an entire week off. Whatever you can make work for you. Most of us have a tendency to be too attached here, and giving yourself intentional breaks is wonderful and recharging! It's not until you give yourself a break, that you really realize how much of your time & energy these things can consume you.
  6. Take yourself on a date and do something that is very relaxing for you. Maybe it is going to a movie, sitting in the park with a good book and a great lunch, or antique store perusing....whatever you find most relaxing on your own. Make a little time to just relax and treat yourself in this way.
  7. Take some time to journal. Use this time however it will best serve you. Write out things that have been bothering you,  celebrate the things that are going great for you, journal about what you are grateful for, use it as a tool to make a decision you are having a hard time with, or simply just write about whatever comes up. Journaling can be beneficial in so many ways, and is great time to stop and be introspective.
  8. Take some time to just 'be'. Curl up on the couch with a good book. Sit on your porch and listen to the birds sing. Sit on a park bench and people watch. Bring a floating device to a lake and just float.  If you are someone who struggles with constantly moving and being busy, making just a little bit of time here can really help to recharge  and calm you. If you are a really busy bee, be patient with yourself here. It may take a little time to relax about taking time to relax!
  9. Say 'NO' more often. We don't have to say yes to everything. Recognize when you are feeling tired, busy, or overwhelmed, and have the ability to say no to things, events, favors, or whatever is being asked of you. Many of us have a hard time saying 'no'. It  can take practice to have this become an easier thing, so start practicing! Ease up on the pressure you put on yourself in this way, and know that when you say 'no' to things, you are saying 'yes' to yourself by protecting your time, your energy, and taking good care of yourself. We can't be everything for everyone, attend everything, or do everything that is presented to us, or we would end up being depleted. This is an important thing to learn, and a huge gift to yourself.
  10. Especially when you are really busy, make a point to do at least one thing a day just for you. Just one nice thing for yourself. Treat yourself to something nurturing or rejuvenating...Even if it is just a little break in the day. You may not feel like you have the time on busy days, but make the time. We make time for so many things that are important in life. We can make the time for ourselves. It's the most important thing.

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The Comparison Trap

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The Comparison Trap

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There’s this inner voice that likes to sneak into my consciousness sometimes that I’m not fond of. She'll come marching into the forefront of my thoughts like she owns the place, ranting about what I’m doing wrong, what I’m not doing good enough, points out all of the imperfections I have, and loves to compare me to others in a way that doesn’t feel good. I have a name for her.  She’s my inner bitch. I know I’m not alone here, call it what you want, but we’ve all got one.
I’ve worked really hard over the years to quiet my inner bitch, to correct her when I’m hearing the kind of inner talk that isn’t supportive of me, and I’ve come a long way. I’ve practiced being more conscious of my thoughts, correcting any negative self talk, and this has done wonders in building self love, and improving my ever-growing relationship with myself.  I almost forget the inner bitch is there sometimes because I don’t hear from her that often these days. However, there are still times that she sneaks in,  takes over, and I find myself in a place of comparing myself to others which inevitably leaves me not feeling as great about myself as I should.
I recently had to spend a little time correcting and putting my inner bitch back in her place, and while doing so, something occurred to me in a big way.  It occurred to me that our comparing ourselves to others has been hugely impacted by social media.
Let’s be real here. We are living in an age when a lot of what we know about other people’s lives is what we absorb from social media, rather than direct contact.
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The thing is, what most people post online is the bright, successful, fun side of their lives that they really want us to see. We all want to be seen as rocking the hell out of life, right?
Of course, there are some that use social media as a place to ‘air their dirty laundry’ or express their troubles and seek out the empathy & connection that we all crave as humans, via the internet. But think about it. For the most part, what people post online is what they WANT the world to see about them.
Now think about the position that puts us in if our inner bitch has a habit of comparing us to others. We are sitting in our real life which is has really good stuff going, but along with it are the shadows, the daily struggles, the screw ups, the times we lose our temper,  say things we wish we wouldn’t have, or whatever else comes up. From that place of realness in our own life, we view the outer, pretty layer of everyone’s lives that they want us to see. I think for many people this creates an environment for the inner bitch to speak up and  start to compare.
Everyone we are connected to on social media, whether they are celebrities & businesses you follow or whether it’s your family & friends, are putting out there mostly just what they are proud of in their life. They show us the fun they are having, the beautiful family & friends pictures, the vacations, the successes….The majority of people put out there what they WANT the world to see, and leave the rest in real life, not broadcasting it on the internet.
So when we take all of this in at the fast pace that many of us do, it’s easy to forget that beneath the shiny outer polish is real life for everyone.
Here’s where the problem comes in. We end up comparing the not so perfect inner workings of our lives with the outer, polished versions of everyone else’s. This is unrealistic, but we can fall for this, and the inner bitch can have a hay-day with it.
My intention in writing this is just to bring awareness. Ask yourself if this behavior of comparing is something that you find yourself participating in?
If so, bring awareness to it. If you are aware of it, that gives you the opportunity to correct it.
Know that beneath the outer polish of every online life you view is real life with real struggles.
Know that we are all on a journey of continual growth.
Know that you are entirely perfect, just where you are right now, imperfections & all.
When that inner bitch pipes up, tell her she’s no longer welcome, and call the inner cheerleader out for some talk about how awesome you are, because it’s true. You are awesome.
There are 7 billion people in the world, and no one is just like you. Embrace the beauty of your uniqueness, and practice speaking to yourself like you would anyone else in your life that you love.
Quiet that comparative inner bitch, and start feeding the inner cheerleader. If you find yourself comparing, know that when you see the polished lives of others broadcast online, that underneath the polish is a real life with imperfections and struggles just like everyone else.
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Give yourself the gift of love and loving self talk.
It takes practice, and It can change everything in your life.
Wishing you wellness,
Shelly

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Mental Spring Cleaning

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Mental Spring Cleaning

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 Spring is here, and I’ve got lots of spring cleaning on my mind. Spring cleaning of my home & environment always feel good this time of year. It’s a great time to do some cleansing of the body through dietary cleanses & juicing as well, but how about some mental spring cleaning?
Mental spring cleaning? It could be lots of things, but here I want to talk with you about one idea I have around our resistance to change.
I think that we humans have a tendency to hold onto things a little too tightly sometimes, and I’m not just talking about physical things. We hold onto our ideas, our opinions, our identity around how we dress, ways we show up in the world, our attitude on certain subjects, extra weight, habits that don’t serve us.  We hold onto these things not always consciously, but sometimes just because it’s what we do, what we’ve always done.
 So what is my mental spring cleaning tip for you?

Sweep the idea out of your brain that you are stuck, and give yourself permission to change!

If it helps, write yourself a permission slip and hang it on your fridge, hang it on your mirror, tape it to the dash of your car! Whatever will help you.
You are allowed to change.
You can change your mind.
You can change your opinion.BC191THB8U
You can change who you spend time with.
You can change how you dress.
You can change what you eat.
You can change your attitude.
You can change how you show up in the world.
You can change how you feel.
You can change your energy level.
You can change habits.
You can change your hobbies.
You can change your health.
You can change anything that is changeable!
YR8EV7NYYVWho says that we need to stay where we are?
Keep the same opinions?
Keep the same career?
Hold onto the same relationships?
Continue to eat the same as we always have?
Continue the same hobbies?
You are allowed to start dressing differently if you feel compelled to. Throw away the clothing that you don’t feel great wearing. Wear what makes you feel good, even if it’s a wild outfit that leads your friends to say “wow! I’ve never seen you wear something like that!” Especially if they say that....and it’s something that you feel good in!

You are allowed to change your mind. We can and will change our minds all of the time. This is perfectly ok. Just because you subscribed to a certain belief, doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind! We change as individuals throughout our life, so our opinions are allowed to change too. Don’t allow people in your life to hold you to something you once said or agreed to if you have changed your mind. It's ok. You have permission.

You are allowed to change your job or career to one that makes your heart sing. What’s that? You have college debt for your chosen career? You’ve got so much time invested into your career? Oh, you have great benefits? I get it, but that doesn’t mean that you need to stay in a career that makes getting out of bed in the morning a miserable ordeal. What are you good at that makes you happy doing? Find one of those things, and do it. There’s no reason that you can’t love, or at least enjoy what you do to make money.
You are allowed to let go of relationships that don’t serve you. That friend that you’ve had for 20 years, that you feel so obligated to, even though she never keeps the things you tell her in confidence, has criticisms for your life, loves to gossip, and generally has a negative attitude? Yeah, her….You can let her go. Its okay. You don’t need to tell her exactly why. Just send her love, let her go, wish her well, and put forth time & energy into budding new friendships that are positive and that you feel energized rather than drained by!
You are allowed to change how you eat! Your partner doesn’t like to eat healthy food? Maybe they can start to cook for themselves more often as you chef yourself up some new vegetable goodness! If you feel drawn to eating healthier, you are allowed to put the effort forth in that! Your friends and family can benefit from you exploring healthier options. If they rely on you for cooking, then they can choose to support you and explore healthier eating with you, or they can choose to start cooking for themselves!
You are allowed to explore new fun things in life! Get out there and try a new activity. Ask your friend that enjoys an activity that you are unfamiliar with to take you with them! Explore new things! Just because you’ve been on a bowling league for the last 7 years doesn’t mean that you can’t drop it to make time for the belly dancing class you’ve been eye balling! Explore new interests that excite you!
So, now I ask you.…as you read the above, what popped into you mind about your life? Where are you craving change? Where have you felt resistant to it? Where have you felt like you weren’t allowed to change? I challenge you to do some mental spring cleaning by letting go of the belief that you are stuck in these areas. Just take your imaginary broom and sweep that thought right out of your brain. Did you picture that? Good. Now that you've cleaned that limiting belief out, pick at least one thing that you want to change about you this spring. Just for you. You deserve it!
Wishing you blissful spring fever!
Shelly

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