How has the past week been for you? In the space that I hold for my clients and my friends in life, I spend a lot of time digging deep with people. Every now & then there seems to be a week when so many people are on the same page as far as feeling the feels deeply, The last week has been very much full of the feels with so many people that I have connected with, as well as some myself.
Why am I bringing this up? Because I thought that talking a little bit about the care of ourselves when we are in deep feeling processes in life was a worthy thing to write about today.
I think that many of us got the message throughout our life, and still do, that we need to just push through whatever we are processing or pain we are going through and get on with life. Sweep that uncomfortable shit under the rug already. We get messages like 'Cheer up - put a smile on your face - It could be worse" As though we aren't allowed the time & space to actually feel what we are, process it, and nurture ourselves in the way that we need in those moments.
You are allowed. You are allowed to take the space and time you need. You are allowed to have times when you just feel sad, or off center, or deep in process about life. You don't need to put a smile on your face for other peoples comfort. You can prioritize the nurturing you need when you know you need it.
Sometimes calling things off in life so that you can stay home to take a bath, cry, journal, talk things out with someone supportive, or just to BE with yourself and whatever you are feeling is the best self-care decision you can make.
Sometimes allowing a good cry when you feel it welling up can be the best form of healing. Sometimes ugly crying on the floor while pounding your fists can be the healthiest release of anger. Sometimes taking a drive and singing at the top of your lungs to the songs that hit you in the sweet spot can make everything feel a bit better.
We all have people that we can reach out to. Even those of you that think you don't, do. It's good to remember that it feels good to support the people we care about. By reaching out to talk things out with someone when it feels helpful, you are also giving that person the opportunity to have a connection that they will likely gain something from as well.
We tend to have different people in our lives that are good for being there for different things, or for talking through different things in life. For example, I have a friend who is always good at calling me out on my crap. When I have the inkling that's what I maybe need, that's the friend I'll call. There are other friends that I'll reach out to when I'm feeling more tender around something and need to feel more nurtured. Be aware of who these people are in your life, and what roles they play for you so that you are reaching out for just the right kind of support for yourself. Be sure that who you choose to reach out to has a track record of holding the kind of space for you that you need, or allow someone the opportunity to prove to you that they are a safe space when you need some support so that you are building those connections.
Journaling is one of the best tools to utilize when you are feeling the feels and processing any of life's rollercoasters. Just start writing.....allow to flow out what needs to onto paper or the keypad. Use journaling to release, to find clarity, and to express your feelings. Use journaling to write the letters that you want to, but will likely never send. Sometimes writing and then burning the paper can feel like an amazing release as well.
As we grow, we are always shedding layers. Sometimes this shedding can feel pretty uncomfortable. Embrace yourself with extra care when you are the process. Learn to be present for yourself, and nurture yourself through whatever it is. This is how we continue to grow through our life experiences rather than have them consume us.
Whether this past week has been one of those weeks for you or not, I just wanted to remind you today that when you are feeling the feels in life, you are absolutely allowed to be with them. In fact, you are doing yourself a huge favor in doing so. I'm not talking about setting up camp and staying there. I am talking about allowing space & time needed to feel what you feel and process it in a healthy way so that you can then move forward no longer carrying it or sweeping it under the rug so that it's a mess you need to clean up down the road in one way or another.
Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself time & space when you need it. You deserve it.
Wishing you a nourishing week,