Feel stressed about not getting enough done?

Feel stressed about not getting enough done?

As always, I like to write around topics that come up in conversation both in sessions with my clients as well as my persoal life, and this is something that has been coming up a lot lately…..

Sometimes You Just Need To Be Heard

Sometimes You Just Need To Be Heard

Hopefully, we all have someone to talk through these life things with.  Having a safe place to verbally navigate whatever troubles we are experiencing is important. Holding that safe space for others is important too. 
 

Sometimes, we want feedback. We want to know what that person would do if they were in our shoes. Sometimes we welcome advice with open arms…..and sometimes……we simply just need to be heard. 

Feeling Stuck? Here's Where To Start....

Feeling Stuck? Here's Where To Start....

I saw the above image on social media recently and it really struck me.....

A major barrier to people changing what they want to in life is that the change can feel too big to take on.

Creating Space For Yourself

Creating Space For Yourself

How often do you create space in your life for you to just BE? 
And when you do create some space & time....are you actually owning it? 
Or are you spending that precious time feeling like you 'should' be doing something else....something 'more productive'? 

The Value In Contrast

The Value In Contrast

Contrast on my mind today. Contrast provides a lot for us in life. 
Let’s explore how the contrast of tough stuff in life benefits us, and how we can find gratitude in it.

I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry

I want to talk about a habit that many of us have that we don't realize how much it negatively affects us. 
I'm talking about the habit of saying "I'm Sorry" far too often.
The habit of over-apologizing when it's not necessary at all.

How Often Are You Wearing A Mask?

How Often Are You Wearing A Mask?

How often are you wearing a mask? 

We all do this in one way or another. We can indulge in a lot of mask wearing, and often times without even realizing it. 

What am I talking about? When we change or 'mask' our own natural personality to conform to social pressures. We do this for a variety of reasons.

Where is My Joy?

Where is My Joy?

If you have read my blog for a while, you know that every once in a while I like to pull a card from My Inquiry Card Deck and present it to you as a personal check-in tool for you to use. 

These inquiry questions can be great for checking in with yourself. They can be an inspiring journaling prompt. They can be questions that spark a great conversation at the dinner table or over a glass of wine or tea with a good friend. 

Asking personal inquiry questions of ourselves encourages clarity around what's most important for us to focus on in life and growth! 

This week I pulled the card that asks: "Where Is My Joy?" 

I LOVE this question. 

What's the first thing that comes to mind for you? 
Without over thinking.....the first thing? 

Are you feeling joyful in your life? Are you feeling like you are lacking joy in life?
Are you consciously choosing to fill your life with things that bring you joy? 

What are the things that truly bring you joy?
Are you making them a priority? 

When is the last time that you did something purely for the joy of it? 

What were the things that brought you joy when you are younger, but that you have not made the time for more recently in your life? 

Who are the people that bring you joy? Are you making enough time to spend with them? 


Take some time to sit with the above questions. Journal on them. Talk about them, 

Joy is a worthy subject that we don't always pay enough attention to, especially when life is hectic and we feel like we are in survival mode! The reality is that If we put even a little more focus on joy, it makes all of the things that fill up our life feel better. It makes all of the minutes of our days feel sweeter.....and we all want & deserve that! 

So if you'd like to give yourself a little personal growth homework this week, Joy is a worthy topic to work with. Sit with the question. Journal around it. Discuss it. Listen to other responses to inspire you. 

And go do something for the pure joy of it this week! 

WIshing you joyfulness!

Shelly

When You Are Feeling The Feels......

When You Are Feeling The Feels......

How has the past week been for you? In the space that I hold for my clients and my friends in life, I spend a lot of time digging deep with people. Every now & then there seems to be a week when so many people are on the same page as far as feeling the feels deeply, The last week has been very much full of the feels with so many people that I have connected with, as well as some myself. 

Why am I bringing this up? Because I thought that talking a little bit about the care of ourselves when we are in deep feeling processes in life was a worthy thing to write about today. 

I think that many of us got the message throughout our life, and still do, that we need to just push through whatever we are processing or pain we are going through and get on with life. Sweep that uncomfortable shit under the rug already.  We get messages like 'Cheer up - put a smile on your face - It could be worse" As though we aren't allowed the time & space to actually feel what we are, process it, and nurture ourselves in the way that we need in those moments. 

You are allowed. You are allowed to take the space and time you need. You are allowed to have times when you just feel sad, or off center, or deep in process about life. You don't need to put a smile on your face for other peoples comfort. You can prioritize the nurturing you need when you know you need it. 

Sometimes calling things off in life so that you can stay home to take a bath, cry, journal, talk things out with someone supportive, or just to BE with yourself and whatever you are feeling is the best self-care decision you can make. 

Sometimes allowing a good cry when you feel it welling up can be the best form of healing. Sometimes ugly crying on the floor while pounding your fists can be the healthiest release of anger. Sometimes taking a drive and singing at the top of your lungs to the songs that hit you in the sweet spot can make everything feel a bit better. 

We all have people that we can reach out to. Even those of you that think you don't, do. It's good to remember that it feels good to support the people we care about. By reaching out to talk things out with someone when it feels helpful, you are also giving that person the opportunity to have a connection that they will likely gain something from as well.

We tend to have different people in our lives that are good for being there for different things, or for talking through different things in life. For example, I have a friend who is always good at calling me out on my crap. When I have the inkling that's what I maybe need, that's the friend I'll call. There are other friends that I'll reach out to when I'm feeling more tender around something and need to feel more nurtured. Be aware of who these people are in your life, and what roles they play for you so that you are reaching out for just the right kind of support for yourself. Be sure that who you choose to reach out to has a track record of holding the kind of space for you that you need, or allow someone the opportunity to prove to you that they are a safe space when you need some support so that you are building those connections.

Journaling is one of the best tools to utilize when you are feeling the feels and processing any of life's rollercoasters. Just start writing.....allow to flow out what needs to onto paper or the keypad. Use journaling to release, to find clarity, and to express your feelings. Use journaling to write the letters that you want to, but will likely never send. Sometimes writing and then burning the paper can feel like an amazing release as well.

As we grow, we are always shedding layers. Sometimes this shedding can feel pretty uncomfortable. Embrace yourself with extra care when you are the process. Learn to be present for yourself, and nurture yourself through whatever it is. This is how we continue to grow through our life experiences rather than have them consume us. 

Whether this past week has been one of those weeks for you or not, I just wanted to remind you today that when you are feeling the feels in life, you are absolutely allowed to be with them. In fact, you are doing yourself a huge favor in doing so. I'm not talking about setting up camp and staying there. I am talking about allowing space & time needed to feel what you feel and process it in a healthy way so that you can then move forward no longer carrying it or sweeping it under the rug so that it's a mess you need to clean up down the road in one way or another. 

Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself time & space when you need it. You deserve it. 

Wishing you a nourishing week, 

Shelly

When is Buying Organic Extra Important?

When is Buying Organic Extra Important?

Buying organic is important. For your health, and for the environment in a multitude of ways. 

However costly pesticides can be for your health and the environment, buying organic generally does have a steeper price tag at the grocery store which can make it hard for some to be able to afford to purchase all organic even though they would like to. THIS is why I love the EWG's Clean 15/Dirty Dozen list! 

Every year the EWG tests the most common conventionally grown produce items in the supermarkets for pesticide residue and content. Why? So that we can be educated on which fruits & vegetables are MOST important to always purchase organic because of the high levels of pesticides present in conventionally grown. Also, so that we know the produce items that don't tend to have many, if any pesticide residue on them when buying conventionally grown.

The dirty dozen list has the most pesticide residue present in conventionally grown produce. 
The clean 15 were the most common items with little or no pesticide residue. 
Don't pay the extra for the organic avocados if you don't want to. 
Always pay the extra for the organic strawberries! 

Strawberries, at the top of the dirty dozen list, had as many as 23 different pesticides in one sample! 

Did you catch that? 23 different pesticide residues on one strawberry!!!

Pictured above is the 2019 Clean 15 / Dirty Dozen list

I'm grateful for the work that the EWG does for us in this list they put out every year, as well as the many consumer guides that they offer to us telling us which products are the safest for us, our loved ones, and the environment. They are doing the homework for us! If you are wanting to work on purchasing cleaner products in your life, they have an app that you can download to see their homework on everything from food to shampoo & make-up, to laundry detergent & cleaning supplies. This resource is endlessness helpful if you are wanting to go greener! 
Here's the app: EWG HEALTHY LIVING APP

One more word on transitioning to a greener lifestyle......If you are beginning this process, or like me, feel like you are continually in this process of trying to do better and better all the time....Remember that it's like any other big change in life. If you try to take it all on at once, it will likely feel overwhelming. Work on one area of products and find a brand that you like, and work on transitioning that area of products over to natural ones that you know are clean, and you know they work well for you. Or simply start buying a greener choice the next time you run out of something. Then really focus on the next area of products and finding what you like best. I finally found a super clean makeup company that I love, which I've transitioned all of my cosmetics over to called Beauty Counter. I have a lot of H2O @ Home's cleaning products that I love, and I make many of my own cleaning sprays, etc. I make my own candles and body butter, and I have a couple of local and local-ish companies who's home & body products are clean as a whistle, and that I love (Alaffia and Uncle Harry's). It took me a long time to find things I really liked and transition to all of these green products over the years. Don't overwhelm yourself and you are likely to make this transition and stick to it. 

One more final word of advice......PLEASE know that just because something says that it is 'natural' or 'green' or 'vegan' or 'low fat' or 'no animal testing' or......that this claims really don't mean a thing. Be an ingredient reader, and/or let the EWG do most of the homework, and use their app. 

(Also- You can donate to the EWG's good work to help keep them going!)

Have a beautiful rest of your week! 

Shelly

 

Where is Your Place?

Where is Your Place?

Where is your place?

This past week I had the most amazing getaway. The waterfall pictured above was one of the highlights. 

I've always been a water person. My favorite places to just BE generally involve water. Waterfalls, hot springs, lakes, rivers, the ocean.....baths. There's something for me about being on, in, or around water that is healing in a way that nothing else is for me. 

I visited the Umpqua River valley in Oregon for 4 nights with the intention of giving myself a few days of much-needed rest, grounding, connection, & healing after losing my K-9 friend of 15 years recently....in nature with my favorite element - water. 

The first day I soaked in the natural hot springs on a cliff side over looking the river. It was breathtaking and nourishing in such a sweet way. I soaked until my mind was blank. More clear than it has been in some time. 
The next day I soaked again until I was sure that I could not be any more relaxed. Then, I jumped in the fridged river, and back into the hot spring, and felt absolutely charged. The next day I sat and had lunch at the base of one of the most beautiful waterfalls I've ever seen. Feeling the rush of the water always elevates my mood and relaxes me at the same time. I hiked. I ate great food, I connected with a dear friend and new friends along the way.  I returned home on Sunday feeling quite literally like a brand new woman. 

The water is my place. Nature is my place. When I need to check out for a bit so that I can check back into life, I go to the water somewhere in nature. If I only have time for a short jaunt on a local trail, or a bath at home, I do that. I'm intentional about planning trips to the water because they are so healing for me. 

Where is your place? 
Where is it that you are able to feel grounded? 
Where you can let the busyness of your life melt away & where your mind clears a little easier? 
That place that nourishes you and rejuvenates you?

How intentional are you about making the time to take yourself there? 

We all need to unwind ourselves & charge our batteries from time to time. 
This is your reminder that it's a priority. 

Wishing you a beautiful week! 


Shelly

Let's Talk Goo!

Let's Talk Goo!

Metamorphosis! 

Did you know that when a caterpillar nestles into the chrysalis it turns into GOO before transforming into a butterfly? Yes - GOO! The caterpillar actually digests itself, and there seems to be no form at all until the butterfly begins to take shape....but within that goo, held in the cells, is all the knowledge needed to create the intricate beauty that is the butterfly. 

Why am I writing about goo? Because I want to remind you that no matter where you are in life, no matter how messy life transitions can sometimes feel, no matter how big of a pile of goo you or your life can feel like at times, even if you feel like you have no form or direction, I can promise you that your inner knowing KNOWS exactly how to transform you into the next phase. Everything you need and everything you need to know to transform is within you. I promise.

Going through transitions in life can feel hard, regardless of what the transition is. Relationships end, careers end, kids move away, health issues come up, we lose people that we love.....and sometimes your metamorphosis doesn't have anything to do with an abrupt life change, but that you just reach a point of NEEDING to transform. How you are living is no longer working for you, and it brings you to diving deep within to re-create. 

Regardless of what creates a call for metamorphosis, know that it's not always easy, it's sometimes really messy, and it can be hard to navigate. Also, know that you've got this. You really do have everything you need to transform to the next phase of life with wings! 

Have faith in yourself. Know that the phase where you feel like an unorganized pile of goo will not last. Know that if you tap into your inner knowing, the next phase for you will form beautifully, with a little patience. 

Wishing you a beautiful rest of your week, 

Shelly

Things My Dog Taught Me

Things My Dog Taught Me

Last week was the first week since starting my business that I did not write a blog post, as my full focus last week was on saying goodbye to my K-9 companion of 15 years and helping her to cross over.  The subject of this post I called "things my dog taught me" but really, I was her human more than she was my dog. She taught me far more than I taught her in the 15 years we had together. Maliika was my best friend and constant companion through so much. While it was heartbreaking to say goodbye, it's amazing to feel her sweet little spirit still with me and so happy to be free of her old fur-suit that no longer served her in doing the things that she loved in life. 

15 years together is a long time, and in that time she taught me so much. If you've had an animal love in your life, you know what teachers they are. I've been pondering our time together and thought I would share with you some important life lessons that I learned through her. 

Always live in the moment. 
Maliika was such a present creature. No matter what we were doing, where we were going, who we were with, or what the mood was, she was right there with it. While I often found myself worried about what happened or what was coming, she helped to keep me present in every moment we were together. This in itself is priceless. 


Trust your instincts about people. 
Maliika was not a dog that allowed everyone she met into her space. She had good instincts about people. She loved her people unconditionally, but there were some people that she just didn't let in when she met them. These tended to be people that would instantly approach her and want to smother her space before she got a chance to really check them out. You didn't have to do much to earn her love and affection, but you did have to respect her space to earn that. If she didn't have a good feeling about someone, she didn't give them any of her energy, she simply walked away. The people that she did feel good about, she gave her all. As someone who has always trusted people maybe too much, she taught me to have discernment and was a great example in listening to my instincts, especially when new people step into my life. 

Take in the beauty around you. 
Maliika loved taking in grand views. I've never really known another dog that loved to just sit and take it in with all of her senses.  Hiking to an elevation that offered a great view, sitting by a lakeside, or pulled over at a scenic viewpoint, this dog would seriously just take in the view and breathe in the beauty. I know that she felt the same kind of awe that I felt in those moments, and she often kept me there longer just sitting and taking it in.

Pay attention to your surroundings. 
She was always aware of what and who was around us. In our travels together, she often warned me of people or places that she didn't think we should be around when I wasn't paying attention. I know that she helped us avoid some situations, and potentially a very scary run-in with some people at one point when I was busy making phone calls and not paying attention. She's also gravitated towards meeting people that we were supposed to meet along the road or the trail wherever we went. When we are really paying attention to what's around us, we take in all the amazing beauty around us, we meet who we are supposed to meet, and we avoid those that we want to avoid. 

If you are scared of something, let your friends support you through it. 
Maliika and I have been on countless hikes together all over the western 1/2 of the US. (she's traveled with me through 19 states!) She LOVED being out hiking in the trees with me, but sometimes we would encounter a walking bridge on the trail, and she was NOT a fan of walking over bridges! She was slowly encouraged with my hand on her back reassuring her over many walking bridge trails, and she was carried over more than I convinced her to walk herself. (and she was 70lbs) She always trusted me to help her out so that we could continue our adventure. We all come up against things that terrify us on our journeys, even the journeys that bring us so much joy can bring up big fears. Having friends by our side that we trust to support us through the scary parts allows us to keep going. I was always happy to help her through what scared her, and It felt good to help her, just like it feels good for your friends to help you too. Don't be afraid to say that you are scared and ask for support. 

When you can swim, stop whatever you are doing and swim. 
A love of swimming is something that Maliika and I had in common, and we swam in countless bodies of water together. Maliika lived to swim...it was her most favorite thing, and it was hard to keep her out of the water if we were near it. There were so many times that the shore was muddy, the water was cold, I didn't want a wet dog in my car at that moment because I didn't bring a towel with, or whatever reasons I thought that she should skip her swimming opportunity for the day, but she would say screw it - I'm going in! Because she loved it. And in the end, the muddy wet dog in my car on the days when I didn't have a towel with was always worth it for the excitement & smile on her face. There are things in life that we love and that we don't indulge in enough because of reasons that aren't really very important when you think about it....what's a little mud in your car when it comes to moments of pure joy? Whatever you love as much as she did swimming - jump in! 

We communicate more deeply without words. 
Maliika communicated with me better than many people in my life. She communicated with me through energy, through the looks she gave me, through her body language, and through intuition. I'm sure I could hear exactly what she was saying sometimes, and sometimes just a look from her, or coming up to me and laying her head on me in a certain moment expressed a thousand words. We don't always need to know the right thing to say to people. Sometimes just holding loving energy with someone, looking into their eyes with your intention, or laying a hand on someone's back can speak more words than the English language ever could. 

I just realized that I may be writing a book here. The above flowed out of me without a lot of pre-thought and doesn't feel complete by any means, but I think I shared some of the more important things and am going to stop here. 

I hope that through my writing, my sweet girl has bestowed some wisdom in your life as well. 

Squeeze your fur-babies tight if you have them. They are here to love us and teach us for such a short time, and we are so blessed to have them around. 

Wishing you a beautiful week, 


Shelly

Sure Fire Way To Have A Good Day!

Sure Fire Way To Have A Good Day!

How do you start your day?  I'm talking about the first moments you wake up....what do you do? 

How you start your day off is super important! Why? Because your sleep at night is like hitting a reset button. The energy of whatever happened the day before has dissipated, you've given your body some rest, every single morning that you wake is like a fresh start, and how you start your day sets the tone for your day. 

Yes, the first things you do, think, and consume in the morning set the tone for your day! 

I know a lot of people that spend the first moments of their day picking up their phone & checking email, facebook, or Instagram.
I know people that groggily hit snooze multiple times wishing they did not have to get up.
I know people that wait until the very last minute to get up leaving just enough time to throw on clothes, brush their teeth and hurry out the door. 
(ahem....I've been one of those people, and I admit, on occasion, I still am)

If you could spend as little as 10-15 minutes once a day that you know would affect your WHOLE day in a hugely positive way, wouldn't you want to make the 10-15 minutes a priority? And if it felt really good, you are likely to extend that time! 

Most things we do throughout our day are habits. Habits really aren't as hard to create as we sometimes give them credit for. The secret to creating new habits with ease and making them stick is starting small. If you can start by spending just the first 5 minutes of your day doing something that sets a positive vibe for your day, you are going to feel it. It's going to make a difference in how you feel throughout your day, and you are likely to stick with it and increase that 5 minutes to more.

So, if you don't already have a morning routine that sets you off on the right foot, here are some suggestions: 

Meditate. If you are not a meditator, know that this is not a complicated thing. There are many forms of meditation, and it really can be just simply sitting quietly with yourself. You can download a guided meditation app or find a morning meditation on Youtube. You can sit silently and envision your day going perfectly. You can even just lay in bed for 10 minutes and envision this. 

Listen to something inspirational. Maybe you have an inspirational person that really speaks to you, and they have a whole lot of videos online. Put one on as you are waking and listen as you are getting ready for your day. 

Put some music on that makes you happy! Music is soul therapy! I often have the alarm set on my phone to a James Brown song so that I wake up to James singing "AHHH I FEEL GOOD!". 

Exercise or stretch. This can be simply moving to the floor right next to your bed and stretching your body after it's been still for a period of time. It can be as little as 10-15 minutes of exercise. 

Get outside. Having a dog, one of the first things I do when I wake is let her outside, and I often step out with her. There's something about connecting with fresh air, trees, and hearing the birds sing first thing in the morning. Taking a few minutes to stroll around outside, take some deep breathes, and just take in the nature around you can set an amazing tone for the day. 

Read something inspirational. Have a book going that inspires you! Take a little time when you wake to read a chapter. 

Don't look at your phone right away. Here's my thought on this. When we pick up our phone first thing and open our email, messages, or facebook - it's like taking a gamble. We are giving up the power of setting our OWN tone for the day to email & social media. What if the first thing you see is something that is sad or upsetting to you? Is that the fresh start to your day that you want? Make the choice of what your mind consumes first thing. Don't give that power to your smartphone and the web. There's likely nothing that can't wait a 1/2 hour. Get your morning vibe set first!  My iphone now has a "downtime" setting so that I can set times that I'm blocked from screentime. This could be a good way to limit yourself as you are developing a new habit. 

Nourish your physical self. When you wake, drink a tall glass of water. Make breakfast be a way of setting the tone for how you want to eat for the day. If you have something sweet first thing, you are likely to crave more sweets throughout the day. If you focus on something healthy, you are likely to follow that track for the day. (also have much better energy if you start your day off right here)

If you use an alarm to wake, try to adjust your sleep schedule to go without. If you are a snooze alarm fan, work to eliminate that habit. We sleep in cycles. When we wake naturally on our own time, we are waking out of a natural sleep cycle. When you wake to an alarm, you could be startling yourself out of REM sleep....and you are bound to wake up in more of a haze. If you are a snoozer, then you know that it can be kind of agony continually hitting the snooze, falling back asleep and being woken several times. Maybe this means 'setting a screen time curfew' for yourself so you get yourself to sleep earlier. (this is exactly what I've been working on lately, and I can't tell you what a difference it makes to not wake to an alarm most mornings!) If you get yourself to sleep earlier, naturally you wake earlier. 

Please - don't make watching or listening to the news the first thing you do in the morning. I can't think of much else that could set a shittier tone for your day than digesting the problems of the world first thing. Set your own mood first. 

Little changes can make a big difference. When you feel that difference, you are encouraged to stick with it, and add more!

What does your morning routine look like? Are you starting your day off in a way that serves you? 
If you are, maybe there is someway you can build on that? 
If you are not, where would you like to start? 

I'd love to know what your morning routines are! Or if you are making changes, what are they? 

Wishing you a beautiful week full of nourishing rest and bright happy mornings! 

Shelly

 "If Struggling Were The Way To Get There, We'd All Be There By Now"

"If Struggling Were The Way To Get There, We'd All Be There By Now"

"If Struggling Were The Way To Get There, We'd All Be There By Now"


The quote above is from a book I read last year called 'The Trance of Scarcity'  by Victoria Castle. 

This book was hugely impactful for me, and this quote, well....this quote is a powerful one. 

What came to mind for you personally when you read the quote above?
What area of your life have you been struggling in trying to get somewhere and it feels like instead, you are just treading water? .....and you are tired. 

Most of us grew up with the message that you had to work hard and struggle to make it in this world. 

"if there is no struggle, there is no progress"
"Life wasn't meant to be easy" 
"Relationships are hard" 
"No pain, no gain" 
"Nothing in life is free" 


Any of the above sound familiar? 

Is there something that you have struggled with for years?
A part of your life that you always feel like you are straining in?
Has the struggle and the straining helped?
Has working your fingers to the bone in this area gotten you to where you want to be? 

If it hasn't, perhaps it's time to try approaching things differently? 

Where can you soften? 
Where can you loosen your grip?
Where can you LET GO of the struggle and simply allow some ease? 

What does it look like to let go of the struggle and allow ease?
Can you even imagine what that looks & feels like? 

Do you believe that it's possible to get to where you want to be without a struggle?
Is it possible that the journey that feels like a struggle could actually even feel fun & expanding in some way?

I'm not saying here that life should feel like easy street all of the time. We are human, and some things we struggle through. What I am saying is that so many of us are used to being in a state of struggle and have been told our whole lives the lie of 'no pain, no gain' and we have been convinced that things need to feel hard. We've been convinced that struggling through life somehow makes us more worthy and that it's the path to righteousness. The struggle is the way to the things that we want. We NEED to struggle through it. 

I know this because this is much of what I've learned in my life too. I struggle with the struggle myself!  
AND.....I have learned that the struggle is very often not necessary. It's very often something that we unconsciously choose because it's what we are used to. I've learned that often times when I let go of my grip, let go of the struggle, that what I need or want is able to flow into my life with ease. 

What a beautiful thing to experience! 

What if instead of focusing on struggling, we focused on having fun while doing the things we do? 
What if instead, we focused on taking care of ourselves and what's most important to US first? 
What if instead, we focused on allowing things to unfold rather than trying to control everything? 
What if instead, we spent our energy on envisioning what we want in life arriving to us with ease?

No, life is not always easy. There is sometimes a struggle. There is sometimes pain. Sometimes growth hurts a bit. This is all true, BUT - there are many places in our life where we are choosing to struggle when we don't need to. Places, where we can let go of control.
Place where we can stop working so hard and catch our breath. 
Places, where we can let go of the struggle that we have been choosing, and choose a different perspective. 
Places in life where we can choose to allow more ease in. 

My challenge to you this week is this.....

Ask yourself where in your life you are tired of feeling the struggle?
How can you loosen your grip on the struggle? 
How can you let go a bit, and allow some ease? 
How can you adopt a more gentle perspective? 
How can you envision what you want coming to you with ease rather than through struggle? 
What does that look like? What does it feel like?

Journal on this. Act on this. Envision what you want flowing in for you. 

Wishing you the most beautiful week full of ease!


Shelly

What Is The Brave Action?

What Is The Brave Action?

I have a personal inquiry question for you to work with today!

I felt drawn to pulling & sharing a card with you today. This is the card I drew card from my favorite deck of Inquiry cards. I love love love this deck! It feels magical somehow -  always offering the perfect personal inquiry question for the day. I often pull a card to work with for the day. I'll pull a card when I feel struggle around something. I'll pull a card when I'm trying to make a decision. And this deck of cards comes with me to many workshops and groups that I host. 

The card I pulled this morning asks: 

"What Is The Brave Action?"  

Take a moment to gaze at the picture above, allow the question to roll through your mind a few times, and then just listen. Do not overthink. Just open up to your answer. 

What comes up for you?

The beauty of these cards is they remind us that we do have our own answers inside of us. Always. You just need to be able to quiet your mind a bit, put yourself in a receiving mode, and listen. 

So, what comes to mind for you when you ask yourself this question? 

Is there something that you are avoiding in your life? That you are not taking action on? 

Maybe something that you fear failing at? Or something that you would rather not face? 

Something that you feel intimidated by, so you think it feels more comfortable to just ignore it? 

Or maybe there is something that you are handling in your life in a way that does not feel brave - you are taking the easy way out - and not facing that fact? 

Whatever comes to you is perfect - again, let's not overthink! 

NOW.....What IS the Brave Action for you to take? 

What is the ACTION that you feel a bit intimidated by? The one you fear failing at? The one that you feel vulnerable around? 

What is the ACTION that you know could benefit you in the end, but that you have been avoiding for one reason or another? 

NOW.....What do you need to do to take that action? 

Are there steps you need to take? If so, what step can you take today? 

Do you need support in taking this action?  Who can you ask for help? 

Ask yourself - what happens if you DON'T take this action? What will you miss out on, or lose? 

What could you gain from taking this brave action? 

REMEMBER - At the end of life, people generally regret the things they have not done rather than the things that they have. 

You are braver than you think. 

What is the brave action that you will take?


Wishing you a brave week full of action that helps to move you forward to your ideal life, 

Real Acts Of Self Love

Real Acts Of Self Love

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow - a day that we celebrate love. I personally like to think of Valentine's as every day, but this is the day that society honors, so let's talk about love..... self-love. 

There's a ridiculous amount of info out there on learning to love yourself - so much that it can be overwhelming. In my coaching work, I'm a huge fan of action steps. We can read about something, and discuss it until we are blue in the face, but until we apply some action to it, not a whole lot seems to change right? 

I want to share some real acts of self-love that you can work on putting into action....and it's not ALL bubble baths & spa days. 

Here we go! 

1) Yes, bubble baths, spa days, lazy afternoons reading on the couch, taking yourself out on dates are all wonderful acts of self-love. Giving yourself the breaks you need when you need them (or better yet, before you feel like you NEED them) is a really really important part of self-love. Shower yourself with things that nourish you! Know what those things are. Schedule them on your calendar just as you would any other important thing in your life. Allow yourself pampering!

2) Create a habit of positive self-talk. How we talk to ourselves and about ourselves makes a huge difference in how we feel about ourselves, and we tend to be way too hard on ourselves. This habit takes practice. Do whatever you can to remind yourself - sticky notes, daily journaling - anything to keep this at the forefront of your mind. Tell the people closest to you that you are working on this and give them permission to call you out when they hear you putting yourself down. When the inner-bitch pipes up with something to say, engage the inner cheerleader and correct her with loving, positive, encouraging self-talk. Talk to yourself like anyone else you love. Keep practicing this! 

3) Create a life that you don't want to run away from. Yes, spa days & get-aways are amazing, but creating a life that we don't feel like we NEED to run away from on the weekend is key! What does this mean? Work on your list of things you have been procrastinating. Let go of toxic people that drain you. Make lifestyle decisions that eliminate stress. Develop habits that help you to cope with stress. Take charge of your finances. Practice forgiveness & letting go of grudges. Work to simplify your things and your life. Declutter your home & create calming spaces for you to spend your time. Take steps to manage your time well & let go of things that feel like too much for you. 

4) Physically take care of yourself. Create a bedtime routine so that you get yourself to bed and get enough sleep nightly. Create an exercise routine so that you feel physically strong & energetic. Create a meal prep routine so that you are nourishing yourself well even when you don't have time to cook every day. Make the appointments you need to make. Get the massages. Do the things. 

5) Do the work to value yourself & know your worth. Make a list of your best qualities -the things that you love about yourself & the things that those around you love & appreciate. Allow this list to grow! Stop comparing yourself to others (this might mean less time on social media?). Stop saying yes to people and things that you want to say no to so that you can spend your time & energy on what's important to you! KNOW that whatever is a priority for you is worth your time and energy. 

6) Do the work to continually grow. Feeling stagnant sucks. What are the things that you want to learn? The things that interest you? Take the classes, go to the workshops, read the books, join the groups, hire the coach, see the therapist, volunteer, explore & expand life for yourself in whatever ways you feel called to! 

Putting the above into action looks very different for everyone. I'd encourage you to read the above again, and now ask yourself if you were to work on just ONE of these things, which would make the biggest difference for you? How exactly can you put this into action? Make that action your valentines gift to yourself. You deserve it. 

Happy Heart Day!

Shelly

When Is The Best Time To Initiate Some Change?

When Is The Best Time To Initiate Some Change?

January 1st I start going to the gym 3 times a week!
January 1st I'm going to start meal prepping & eating healthier!
January 1st I'm going to start journaling every day to get more in touch with myself!
January 1st.....January 1st......January 1st....January 1st......

Sound familiar? 

While the start of a new year does lend some great energy towards feeling like it's a fresh start and a good time to start implementing some change, I think that there can be TOO much hype around it. The image above I saw online tends to be a common attitude shared as we inch our way into the new year, and lose steam on our intended ambitions. Honestly, January 1st isn't always the best time to implement big changes, as many people are exhausted from the busy holiday season, feeling physically crappy from eating too much sugar and drinking too much champagne, and yet....that date. There's so much pressure on that date! 

So when is the best time to initiate some change? 

RIGHT FREAKING NOW!


ANYTIME Is a good time to initiate change in your life! 
Whenever you are feeling inspired to do so! 
Whenever you are feeling the need for it! 
Whenever you are clear on what it is you want to change & how you can change it! 

I wanted to send this message out today because lately, I've witnessed a lot of comments & memes online similar to the one pictured above. I've had numerous conversations with clients & others in my life around the topic, and I think that it's extremely LIMITING to put such a big focus on January 1st! 

What if we broadened the focus to the whole year? 
The start of each month is a great opportunity to initiate some change!
The start of each week is a great opportunity to initiate some change!
The start of each day is a great opportunity to initiate some change!
The start of each hour or minute is a great opportunity to initiate some change!

RIGHT NOW is a great time to initiate some change. 

So, if you found yourself in the boat of making new years resolutions that fell short sometime last month, or fell short of creating the new year resolutions that you wanted to because you were more focused on the holiday season that you just didn't come up with them....I just want you to know that it's not too late.

Your January 1st can be any day that you choose it to be. It's entirely up to you! 

So, how was your January? Did you set intentions or resolutions & follow through? 
Do you need to readdress? Or address setting some intentions in the first place? 
Do you have clarity on what you really want to change or create? 
Equally as important, do you know exactly HOW to create these changes for yourself in a way that will work for you & your lifestyle? 

I'm SO curious and would LOVE to know your thoughts & experiences on this! 

Wishing you a fabulous & inspired rest of your week! 

Shelly

Even Van Gogh Was A Fan Of Baby Steps!

Even Van Gogh Was A Fan Of Baby Steps!

I came across the Van Gogh quote above recently, and it struck me. 

I work with clients to want to create big change in their life. Whether it's in their health & how they eat, in their social life, their career life, starting over in some way, or working to find balance, happiness, & fulfillment in all the areas of their life. 

It can feel easy to impulsively want to change everything up overnight - Start a new diet, quit your job, or dive right into whatever you want to change. 

While I admire the ambition and energy behind these acts - how often are they sustainable? How often have you started a new diet one fresh morning, and then continued eating healthy the rest of your live long days?!?! How often have you committed to working out 6 days a week starting tomorrow and had it stick? Decided you would keep a clean & organized house from here on out and it magically happened? Decided you're going to act in a self-loving way from now on, and it worked?

Desiring to do things in a different way that increases the quality of your life is a good thing! However, impulsively trying to make these things happen overnight generally is not sustainable. It doesn't stick, and then you once again you find yourself feeling like you've failed and end up having less trust in yourself in the next attempt. It can be a cycle that's not fun to partake in.....even though it starts with the best of intentions. 

This is why I'm a BIG fan of BABY steps towards creating the change you want.

Taking some time to really get clear on what you want to change or create and why is important to you is the first step. 

Choosing to act on the areas of your life that will make the biggest positive difference for you is essential. 

Once you know what you want to change or create, getting clear on the action steps is next. What are the actions you need to take to get there? 

If these steps feel too big, break them down into smaller steps. (baby steps) THEN START! 

Work on the small things - one at a time, every single day.

When you reach milestones, add more.
When you develop a new habit that becomes natural, add another one to work on. 

Rome was not built in a day.
Van Gogh did not create his masterpieces with just a few strokes of the paintbrush.
If you want to REALLY create change in your life in a way that is sustainable and you can carry with you throughout your life, taking one achievable step at a time, and REALLY getting it, learning from it, developing the habit, and then moving on to what is next is key!

This requires patience.
It requires dedication.
It requires wanting what you want, and knowing that you are worth it! 

Having support can be a great help in this process as well. If you find yourself feeling like you are running on a wheel, going through the same motions day after day, and your soul is screaming for you to jump out & start doing things differently, I'm here to help! I love drilling down to what's most important for my clients, and witnessing the change produced slowly and surely as they recreate themselves in a way that sticks! 

Wishing you an inspired week! 

10 ways to increase your energy!

10 ways to increase your energy!

In the depths of winter, it can feel harder to keep our energy levels up. It's dark early, it's cold outside, we might be eating heavier food, and not getting as much exercise, or sun.....

I thought I'd share some solid tips with you this week on keeping your energy levels high! And no, I'm not talking about upping your coffee intake!

There are a lot of simple lifestyle adjustments that can make a world of difference in how we feel and how much energy we have to tackle all we want to in our days! 

10 Ways to Increase Your Energy! 

1) Eliminate or reduce your caffeine intake. I know, I know - not what you wanted to hear. Understand that caffeine addiction is a cycle that keeps you hooked, it can make you crash harder than it picks you up, can cause dehydration, as well as mood swings. Allow your body a break where it's not dependent, and see how you can naturally maintain steady energy. If you are a heavy coffee drinker, try a more gentle version of caffeine, like green tea.

2) Drink more water! Most people are chronically dehydrated. Before you reach for caffeine, sugar, or snacks for energy, drink a big glass of water & wait a bit to see how you feel. And remember that caffeinated drinks can dehydrate you! 

3 )Eat (or drink) your greens! Dark leafy greens are chock-full of vital energy, full of vitamins & nutrients and great for improving circulation & uplifting your spirit & energy levels!

4) Use gentle sweets. If you have a sugar problem (ok, addiction), work on getting your sweet fix in more gentle ways with natural sugars like maple syrup, honey, & brown rice syrup. Eat more sweet root vegetables like roasted yams & carrots. Avoid the sugar crashes and all of the other negative health effects that processed sugar can have on your body

5) Get physical activity. If you regularly get exercise, winter can be a time when you tend to slack off. Pick it up a notch in these months to boost our energy! If you are not in the habit of working out, start small. Even 10 minutes a day, and work your way up! Moving your body is sure to pick your energy up. it can be hard to get yourself motivated when you don't have energy, but push through, knowing it's worth it! 

6) Get more sleep & rest. Know your body, and know how much sleep you need. If you are someone that needs 8 hours a night to really function well, figure out how to make that work. Maybe it means cutting a tv show out of your evening or making some other minor adjustment to your routine. Take time to rest & relax. Take cat naps, & set aside time for really relaxing. When you don't get enough rest & sleep, your body tends to look for energy in other places, and you'll be craving more food than you need as well as sugar and caffeine which can perpetuate the cycle.

7) Evaluate the amount of heavy, rich foods you eat. If you are eating a lot of meat, dairy, carbs, etc, play with your diet, and track how your energy is when you eat less heavy foods & more greens & vegetables. You'll notice a difference!

8) Make time to connect in the ways that fill you. Whether its a walk in the woods, meditation, creating art, dancing, or going to church. How do you connect to what's bigger than you? Make the time for it. It's important and lends a type of energy to us that we can't get anywhere else. 

9) Make time for yourself! What are the things that really light you up? The things that energize & excite you? Make time for them. Schedule them into your calendar! Make them a priority!

10) Let go of draining relationships. Yes, the one that popped into your mind when you read the first sentence. See if you can transform the relationships through communicating or setting boundaries, and if you can not, let go. You have much to do in the world, and your energy is precious! Don't allow someone else to drain it and deprive the world of your wonderfulness! 

There are 10 suggestions here. Which ones resonated with you the most? Which ones do you think would make the most difference for you?  Pick one or two to work on over the next week or so, and see what changes for you! 

Wishing you a fun & energetic rest of your week! 

Shelly